It took me many years of life and experiences of loss and heartache to begin to truly understand the concept of powerlessness, but once I got it, it changed my perspective on many things. Although it sounds like a negative – ‘powerLESSness,’ and although it sounds like something important is absent, – that we are somehow ‘less’ because of it, I believe that it is quite the opposite. Powerlessness is unfortunately often mistaken for weakness, but it is actually a feat of strength. Admitting powerlessness involves leaning into our deepest feelings, trusting and relying on others, and surrendering to the things we can’t control. This takes courage for sure.
To be honest, I strongly believe that power is an illusion. The illusion of power is strong and addicting, but it is nevertheless an illusion. When it comes down to it, we really are powerless over almost everything. Most of us, if not all of us, cling to the things that we perceive we have power over- but it is in letting go of the illusion that we can become liberated.
It’s quite interesting that the key to salvation, or enlightenment, or nirvana or whatever you want to call it in just about every religion is in surrendering or letting go. Whether it is in letting go of the ego, as in Buddhism, or Jesus surrendering all power on the cross, or the Israelites letting go of the illusions of idolatry or lack of trust, it is in the ‘letting go’ that we are in fact liberated – set free. Quite often, unfortunately, the illusion of power can only be broken by personal, painful loss, crisis or tragedy. Too often ‘surrender’ comes at a great cost.
Powerlessness does not mean being helpless either. It is not about lying down or giving up. It is about surrendering to that over which we truly had no control or power in the first place; we aren’t giving up anything because we didn’t have it to begin with. When we let go of the things we have no control over, it can free us up to understand and accept the things or situations which we can change. It can allow us to be in touch with our true self and the truth of life itself.
This is one of the reasons I love the Serenity Prayer. This prayer is really a mini-meditation on powerlessness. In accepting ‘the things we cannot change’ we can experience some serenity. In finding the courage to change the things we can- and making those changes little by little, we are reaching for serenity. It certainly takes some wisdom to know the difference, and often this wisdom is what comes at that great price we pay due to our losses and pain. But let’s not miss out on the reward. We who are grieving have put in the time, the pain, and we have felt the sadness, the brokenness, the heartache and sorrow. In letting go of the things we cannot change, perhaps we can experience some serenity, some peace, some relief.
We need to remember that letting go is not about losing, it’s about being open to what truly is and not fighting it nor resisting it but rather embracing it and letting it be. It’s about acceptance.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.