February 27, 2021 KEEP ON KEEPING ON Dear Friends, In today’s entry from Grief One Day at a Time, Dr. Wolfelt shares: “Many people do little or nothing with their grief. Buying into the cultural misconception that it’s better to keep their grief to themselves and ‘get over it’ as quickly as possible, they lock their true thoughts and feelings inside and end up feeling overwhelmed and powerless. But when we get involved with our grief, when we put it in motion through mourning, we feel hopeful. We feel that sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing we are working to make things better for ourselves. That’s the sad thing about our culture’s grief avoidance. It actually hurts us. Only by engaging with our grief do we heal.” February may be the shortest month, but it sure feels like the longest, especially this year. The weather, the pandemic, the darkness (although that is changing soon), the boredom, the loneliness -it all takes quite a toll. Because it takes such a toll, we can easily become discouraged, depressed, and even want in some ways to just give up, give in, or to just do nothing. But as I’ve said in previous reflections, the resilience of humanity never ceases to amaze me, and lately I’ve been deeply impressed to see how many people in our groups are discovering new ways of coping and adapting, new ways to find meaning and purpose, new ways to find healthy distraction, – new ways to put our mourning into motion: – One person just purchased a ukulele and is learning how to play it online. – Several people have taken up walking and go every day, much like the U. S. mail- in snow, sleet, rain or shine. – Many are doing yoga in their living rooms. – Some have purchased gym equipment for their homes and are actually using it! – A few have become voracious readers, gobbling up books like potato chips. – Some are getting connected with others through meet-up groups and other on-line resources and support groups. – A few people have mentioned in the last year that they have started a gratitude journal and commented on how it has helped them tremendously. – It has been inspiring to hear how many people have started meditation or at least have given it a try. – I’ve been so moved by the brave souls who have, or are, in the painful process of “going through the stuff” and deciding what to give to family and
friends, what to give to charity, what to discard, and what to keep. It takes an emotional toll, and it’s never easy. – Many of us have been rearranging, redecorating, and even remodeling our spaces to make them more our own, more comfortable, or more functional. – Some have moved or are in the arduous process. – There’s even something to be said for those of us who have binge watched, or caught up on TV shows and movies that we’ve been wanting to see. Distractions are amazingly important.
These are all huge decisions, important choices you have made for self-care, for moving forward, and for healing. None of this is easy, little of it was planned, and it’s certainly not the way we wanted things to go. But you are doing it! In doing any of these things and more you are choosing life, and that’s a very good thing. And so, I’ll leave you today with these lyrics from the song “Keep on Keeping On” by Curtis Mayfield:
Most of life can be out of sight Withdraw from the darkness and look to the light Where everyone’s free At least that’s the way it’s supposed to be We just keep on keeping on We just keep on keeping on
Peace and Serenity, Kevin